The first is to make sure every gnome has a job.  That decision is based on the gnome’s skills, knowledge, and their passion.  After all, gnomes cannot be happy unless they are working at something that they love.

The second is to make sure that Gnome Town is a safe place to live.  Every gnome must be trained to ward off any predators.  Fortunately, they have none.  It’s a well-known fact that every living creature loves garden gnomes.  But after watching several Bruce Lee and Karate Kid movies, the town decided that it is better to be prepared just in case.  So karate and kung fu lessons are mandatory.

And the third is to make sure any creature, whether it’s a gnome, animal, or alien, that lives in Gnome Town is taken care of.  An ancient law dating back to the 12th century states that no creature shall go hungry, that all creatures shall be tended to when sick, and that all creatures will be loved.

Here is a friendly gnome (we can’t reveal his name just yet) practicing his speech with his pet turtle as his audience.  He is working hard to be prepared for the next debate.    Elections are just around the corner so he will need to show that he is up for the job.

The above Garden Gnome may be found on:

Garden Gnome – 11″ – Standing with Turtle

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You may hear a few other theories as well, but there is one theory that is not well known and may very well be the true source of inspiration.

The story actually dates back to 1735. In the heart of Edinburgh, Scotland, there lived a small group of garden gnomes that witnessed the birth of golf. Aristocrats from Edinburgh would spend their leisure time on the lawns of Edinburgh Castle playing a new type of sport with hand carved sticks and a small ball. The gnomes who were well hidden in the nearby trees would watch intently as the gentlemen batted the balls into strategically placed holes in the ground. The gnomes were captivated by this new game and would watch for hours.

One day, Mulligan the Garden Gnome, who was notorious for being mischievous, decided to play a little trick on the golfers. He gathered the other gnomes and whispered his plan. The others giggled with excitement. They hadn’t had a good laugh in a long time and this seemed like the perfect prank. The gnomes hid among the bushes and trees and anytime one of the golfers hit the ball near them, the gnomes would take the ball and hide it. The golfers were perplexed as to what was happening to their golf balls. They began to suspect each other and soon rounded up some of the peasants to act as guards or “caddies”. The caddies would keep a close watch on the ball and would stand next to it so that the golfer would be able to his next shot. The gnomes were still able to carry out their prank on occasion and each time the ball went missing, the gentlemen would take a do-over shot.

This continued on for several years as gnomes never tire of a good prank. The gnomes simply returned the golf balls they collected to their owners. The gnomes got a big kick out of seeing the expression on the gentlemen’s faces when they discovered that the missing golf balls ended up in their possession. However, Mulligan the gnome didn’t return the golf balls he collected. He would carve his name on each ball and hide them safely in the large oak tree on the castle grounds. He wasn’t sure why he wanted to keep them, but he liked his little prank so much, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

The groundskeepers were grooming the lawns one day. It was unusually hot and the sun was brutal. One of the groundskeepers decided to take a nap and nestled next to the large oak tree that harbored Mulligan’s golf balls. By this time, however, the tree held so many golf balls that one of them eventually was squeezed out of a knothole in the tree and landed on the sleeping groundskeeper. The groundskeeper woke up and looked at what had interrupted his nap. He soon discovered that the tree was full of these little balls and brought them to the gentlemen who were just gathering for the start of their game. The gentlemen noticed the name “Mulligan” on all the golf balls. Although they questioned everyone they knew and all the peasants in the village, the mystery was never solved. The gentlemen enjoyed a good laugh after realizing that someone was having fun with them. And from that day on, each time the ball disappeared everyone referred to the do-over as a “mulligan”.

So there you have it. The true story of the mulligan, made famous by our very own “Mulligan” the gnome! The next time your golf ball disappears, you’ll know that Mulligan must be nearby and up to his old tricks.

Please click here to view a a larger image or purchase: Mulligan Garden Gnome.

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Zack explained that Garden Gnomes are masters of their emotions.

The incredibly knowledgeable Thomas pointed out that gnomes control their anxieties and have simply learned not to get their drawers in a bunch about potential problems. He thinks that gnomes are light years ahead of human Yoga masters who often preach controlling metabolism and mental thoughts.

Then I remembered many years ago during a ferocious thunderstorm, a tree fell down blocking the entrance to Isabella Gnome’s home. Upon arriving home, she immediately looked over the damage and then calmly went for help. Luckily garden gnomes work closely together and come to the aid of each other whenever there is trouble or a need for help. Isabella went to see Bradley who lived next door.

I remember Bradley blushing as he recalled his story and how Isabella had walked in on him taking a bath asking for his help. I guess she didn’t even notice! Bradley got dressed and immediately went to get the others to help cut and remove the fallen tree. I helped too and when we removed the tree, we were surprised to find that the garden gnome door to Isabella’s house had been damaged. Luckily, Howard the Carpenter Gnome was there and immediately went to work to build Isabella a new door. Everything went smooth like clockwork.

No stress. We saw a problem. We worked together to fix the problem. Badda Bing, Badda Boom…we were done. I figured that there was no stress involved because gnomes just do want comes naturally – helping others.

Now, if this happened to humans, there would be lots of stress. After a storm like that one, I imagine that telephone lines would be down, electricity would be out, and no one would be able to use their appliances and gizmos for hours. What would humans do? Their food would spoil. They wouldn’t be able to watch TV. Neighbors would argue about who is responsible for what. Life would be interrupted. It wouldn’t be a pretty sight because everyone would be worried about their individual problems instead of helping each other.

Hmmmm……if only humans could discover what we gnomes already know! Maybe I’ll write a book to explain our secrets. Hmmm….then they could make it into a movie! I like movies…especially the action-filled ones. Let’s see, who could play me? Brad Pitt? … George Clooney? …Matt Damon? …

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Arnold and Sarah, newlywed garden gnomes, decided to visit relatives that lived in an area that was 40 miles from their home. The relatives lived in a remote woody section of New Jersey close to the big city. Arnold and Sarah weren’t sure how they were going to get there since they had never been away from home before. They decided to ask some of their gnome friends to find the answer. They walked down a small path bordered by beautiful flowers. Sarah stopped to smell the fragrance and pick one to put in her hair. When she looked up, she saw Jack on his swing.

Arnold and Sarah called out to Jack, “Jack, we want to visit our relatives near the big city. Do you know how to get there?

“No, sorry, I don’t. Never been there. Perhaps Ryan knows. I see him at the water pump.” Jack replied.

Arnold and Sarah wondered over to where Ryan was pumping his water. Ryan liked to keep the garden watered and worked hard to fill and carry the water buckets back and forth.

Arnold and Sarah called out to Ryan, “Ryan, we want to visit our relatives near the big city. Do you know how to get there?

“No, sorry, I don’t. Never been there. Perhaps Phillip knows. Can you hear him playing his flute? He’s over there sitting on one of the mushrooms.” Ryan replied.

Arnold and Sarah followed the sound of the flute. Phillip often played during the day. He claimed that the music was soothing and helped the gardens grow.

Arnold and Sarah called out to Phillip, “Phillip, we want to visit our relatives near the big city. Do you know how to get there?

“Yes I do! Went last year to play in a concert. You’ll need to take a few trains. It’s a long journey. Here is my map. Make sure you follow the directions carefully or you may get lost.” Phillip warned.

The journey required taking several connecting trains to reach their destination, but Arnold and Sarah didn’t mind. It was going to be an exciting time and they couldn’t wait. They thanked Phillip and went straight home to look over the directions.

The next morning Arnold and Sarah got up and prepared to leave for the train station. Arnold was not a quick walker like Sarah. He had a slight limp and sometimes had to resort to using a cane to walk. This day was no exception. Sarah was quick and sometimes forgot that her husband was not as quick as her. They walked as quickly as they could. They saw that train was already waiting at the station, which meant that it would be departing in about 3 minutes. Sarah ran ahead to be sure the conductor didn’t signal the train to leave. Arnold ran behind Sarah, but couldn’t keep up. Their friend Al trailed behind Arnold, pushing their luggage in his wheelbarrow. Soon the two were on board and Al waved good-bye as the train slowly left the station.

Arnold and Sarah enjoyed their train ride. They looked out the window for most of the ride and were amazed at all the houses, buildings, and people they saw. They were so engrossed in absorbing the sites that they almost missed their stop. They transferred to another train and were sure to follow Phillip’s instructions. They were almost there, but had one final part of their adventure that required taking a special train. Their adventure up until then had looked uneventful. Sarah and Arnold got on the train and waited about 5 minutes for the train to start. They talked and talked while waiting and finally the train took off.

They were still talking and quickly realized that the train was coming into the station of their final destination. Excited to be at their final stop, Sarah got up and quickly went through the sliding doors and onto the platform. She was so excited that she forgot Al’s instructions that said that they must get off this particular train as quickly as possible because the doors were automatic and once closed the train would leave. She forgot that Arnold was slow, and when he finally made his way to the sliding doors, they closed on him as Al had warned! He tried to open them, but he could not get them to open. He then banged on the doors and screamed Sarah’s name to try to get her attention. He could see her walking on the platform, oblivious to his plight. Then the situation got worse as the train took off! Arnold was all alone and getting further away from Sarah.

Poor Arnold. He didn’t want to get lost. He began to wish he were safe at home with the other garden gnomes. He turned around and saw all the people on the train. Some looked nice and well dressed, reading newspapers. There were some families with children and he tried to imagine where they might be going. Others looked a little disheveled and a few a little frightening. Arnold had never encountered so many different types of people. He wondered why some looked so sad while others looked very happy. He soon turned his thoughts as to how he was going to get back. He tried to think clearly so that he wouldn’t get lost. He immediately got off the train at the next stop. Unbeknownst to Arnold, a little 10-year-old boy had witnessed the situation and happened to get off at the same stop. Fortunately, the little boy was smart and knew the train system. He helped Arnold to get on the return train. Arnold was still shaking just thinking about how scared he was.

Arnold was fortunate to be blessed with the pureness of the little boy who helped him get back to Sarah. When Arnold reached Sarah, they both had a good laugh and went on their way. They would have many stories to tell all the other garden gnomes. They knew that this was going to be an adventure that they would never forget.

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I myself experienced an enchanted moment that was caused by me taking advantage of a friend who should have known better. To this day I regret and marvel over an incredible experience I had when I was a child. I tell you this story and call it fiction only to protect myself from being teased for knowing the almost unbelievable truth. My name is Kevin.

My friend, Morey, and I liked to explore and do many things. Morey was very adventurous and was more willing to try things on a whim. I would constantly dare Morey, “Why don’t you try this”. He would always reply, “Okay.” Morey trusted me and to this day I regret that I broke his trust. Up until the event in question, I had never suggested anything that would get my friend in trouble. However I did possess a mischievous streak and I let it get the better of me. He forgave me for what happened, but unfortunately I never forgave myself.

In the mysterious forest lived a small community of gnomes. They looked exactly like garden gnomes. Among the gnomes was the supervisor, Timothy. Because we were children, only Morey and I were able to see the gnomes. For some reason adults were not able to see them. We even tried to tell our parents about them, only to be punished because they thought we were making up stories. Because we got punished, Morey and I made a pact never to tell our parents or any other adults about the inhabitants of the mysterious forest for fear of being punished or laughed at.

In addition to the gnomes, a quiet old lady lived in the woods in her small house. The house blended into the forest and consequently not many people knew she lived there. Timothy the Gnome had warned us to stay away from her. He never told us why. Timothy the Gnome believed everyone had a right to privacy, because gnomes value privacy above everything else. Little did we understand that this warning was not an idle warning but rather a warning that was a matter of life or death!

Every afternoon we passed the old lady’s house only to smell the most intoxicating aroma of fresh baked pastries. Some days she would make these beautiful luscious looking pies with fresh apples. Another day she made the incredible cup cakes suitable for a king. However on this day she made muffins. The muffins were made with various herbs and berries from the forest. They had an intoxicating aroma and there was something magical about them that made them irresistible.

When I smelled those muffins I got a mischievous idea. Neither Morey nor I needed to steal the muffins. We had brought lunch with us and had plenty of food. But the aroma of the fresh baked muffins drove us crazy; making it impossible to ignore them. I turned to Morey and dared him to steal that muffin. “Hey Morey, bet you can’t steal at least two muffins from that old lady.” “Yes I can.” he replied. “Yea, let see you do it.” I shouted back at him.

Ever so quietly, Morey and I sneaked up the house to check it out. Morey wanted to steal the muffins when the old lady was not looking. We waited while hiding until the old lady left the house. Afterwards Morey bolted for the front door. Guided by the luscious fragrance he made his way to the kitchen. Upon seeing the muffins, Morey grabbed all of them and put them in his pockets. He then ran from the house to where I was waiting.

A funny thing happened when Morey offered me a muffin. I immediately felt guilty about stealing the old lady’s muffins. I realized that we had gone too far. While pondering whether I should accept a muffin, Timothy the Gnome happened to come by. He told us that we made a mistake and should return the muffins and apologize before it was too late. “Too late!,” replied Morey. “Yes, too late!,” the gnome repeated. At this point I refused to take any muffins. However Morey explained that the Gnome could not hurt him, because only children and not adults can see him.

I cringed as Morey started to eat the muffin. As he ate the muffin, he reveled about his successful mission, or so he thought.

At this time I was sick with guilt and told Morey I wanted to go home. Morey decided to accompany me home and continued to revel about his accomplishment. In the distance we could hear the Gnome warning us that we had made a big mistake.

While walking we notice some birds perched in the trees. It was a normal site, but seemed kind of strange because I never had my attention caught by them before. However I noticed that as we walked more birds were starting to appear. When I looked again up at the trees I tripped on a rock and fell to the ground. While picking myself I notice that there were crumbs on the ground. “Morey”! “What,” he replied. “Are you dropping crumbs on the ground. Morey checked his pockets to see if crumbs from his muffins were dropping on the ground. There weren’t any. This was a mystery that plagued us until the next event answered our question.

Then it happened! First the birds flew down and pecked and started to eat the breadcrumbs on the ground. Then they started to follow the trail of breadcrumbs to straight to source. Then to my shock they started to hop and fly straight for Morey’s beautiful long locks of hair. To my shock the crumbs were falling out of his hair. ‘Get them off of me! Get them off of me!” he yelled. I quickly brushed them off and then yelled, “Run!”

After we got far away from the birds I looked at Morey’s hair only to discover that it was changing from black to the same color as a muffin. “Morey, what is going on?” “I don’t know, but I’m scared.” “Morey! Lets head home, maybe our parents can help you,” I replied.

So we headed home, toward a narrow path on the side of a pond. As we got closer to the pond we could hear ducks. Hundreds maybe even thousands. This almost seemed like the end of our adventure. We couldn’t get to the path, because the ducks, which started to run toward Morey, blocked it. “Morey, run! I think they want to eat you!”

“Where, where?” Morey asked. I then suggested we run back to Timothy the Gnome. He was a supervisor and seemed to be wise beyond years. Little did I know that he was almost 300 years old and had wisdom beyond my imagination.

After running for a half an hour and dodging birds that were diving at Morey we caught up to Timothy the Gnome. “Timothy, Timothy, we need your help!” we both screamed. “What is happening to you boys?” Timothy replied. We quickly explained.

There is a reason I warned you not to go near her. She is a witch with magical powers. You boys would have been all right if you had left her alone. We then asked the wise Timothy why he had not told us that she was a witch. Timothy then explained to us that everyone deserved their privacy and that we should not have stolen the muffins.

We realized now that it was wrong to steal the muffins and not only felt scared but guilty at the same time for our crime.
“What can we do Timothy?”
“You boys must go to the witch and ask her forgiveness. Hopefully you can work out something so that you get rid of this problem.”

Afterwards we went to the witch and asked her for forgiveness. The witch explained that she would take the spell off Morey if we did some chores around the house. We quickly did the chores. As we did the chores Morey’s hair color and locks started to return to the natural black color. When we completed the chores Morey’s hair had completely returned.

You know that witch wasn’t that bad of a person. She offered to give us good muffins anytime we wanted to do chores for her. She explained that she was getting older and needed help and wanted some company. I will never forget those days we spent with her and hearing her stories. That was 50 years ago and it is has taken all these years to have the courage to share my story.

Morey and I lost touch after high school, but I hear he owns his own bakery. I imagine that Timothy, the supervisor is still tending to that forest and guiding other adventurous boys to do the right thing.

Written by Lawrence Ticotin

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Pamela did not want to leave her home because it had become an important familiar part of her life. She had become old and set in her ways and was unable to accept a change in her life.

As time went on Pamela had become more in tune with the nature around her home. There was a pond that she could look upon from a window in the back of her home. From time to time beautiful white swans visited the pond. Pamela enjoyed watching their graceful movements in the water.

Pamela decided to keep herself busy to take the emptiness out of her life. She fed the swans bread so that she could enjoy their company. She built a beautiful home out of straw for them to nest in. As time went on she was blessed with more and more swans. Later she started to feed the squirrels and deer.

As time went on the animals became so dependent on her for food. They forgot how to find the food. The swans forgot how to fish. The squirrels forgot how to find nuts. The deer forgot that they could eat the shrubs around them because they thought everything had to be fed to them.

One-day Pamela’s old age finally caught up to her and she was no longer able to take care of the animals or even herself. The animals started to cry outside her house because they were hungry. She wanted to feed them, but was unable to. Minute after minute she heard the animals cry and slowly realized that she had hurt them because she took away their ability to survive. She started to cry because nobody was there to help her and the animals or so she thought.

For sometime gnomes had observed her and had become very concerned about her and the animals. They came into the house and called Pamela’s name. She couldn’t see them. “Where are you?” she asked. “Look at the floor,” the gnomes replied. She was shocked to see how small they were and asked who they were and was told that Gnomes had always been around her.

From that point on the Gnomes comforted Pamela in her last few days. When Pamela died she was at peace knowing that the Gnomes would teach the animals how take care of themselves to survive.

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However, the gnome needed a favor from this cat. Gnardo had heard there was a single female gnome in a nearby forest. There was a long journey to make and he wanted the cat to give him a ride. So he summoned up his courage and decided to chance asking the friendly looking cat what he thought about the idea.

Mr. Katz, meanwhile, had spotted a tiny toad and was busily pursuing him. Gnardo the Gnome thought better of asking such an important question right then and patiently waited. Oddly, somehow the toad managed to escape and Mr. Katz returned to the spot where he had been before. And the gnome thought, “this is my chance. I’ll ask him now!”

“Mr. Katz,” began Gnardo the Gnome, “I need a big favor.” He now had the cat’s attention, so he continued. “There’s a lovely lady gnome living in a nearby forest, and I would really like to meet her. But it’s such a long way and I cannot travel that far on my own. Would you consider going there and letting me ride on your back? I would really appreciate it, and maybe one day I can return the favor.”

To his surprise the cat replied, “I’ve always enjoyed talking with you in the garden. And, I haven’t been away in some time, so I’ll definitely think about it.”

Mr. Katz ,wouldn’t you like to be able to explore the outside world?” the gnome asked. The cat answered, “Yes, but what do I have to do to get out?” Gnardo replied, “Just be my friend.”

“Surely you want more than that,” Mr. Katz replied.

Now, Gnardo the Gnome knew that cats liked the taste of mice. However, gnomes are vegetarians and don’t eat meat. The thought of the cat eating mice was repulsive. But Gnardo knew he must bargain with the cat, no matter how distasteful it might be. He was willing to do anything for love, because he was so lonely. He would tempt Mr. Katz but he had no intention of feeding mice to a cat. Besides some mice were his best friends.

The terms were then worked out. First, and most important, the cat agreed not to mistreat (or EAT) Gnardo. The second was that the cat would take the gnome to the other forest where the lovely female gnome lived. And then Gnardo would provide a nice mouse for Mr. Katz’s dinner.

Fortunately for the gnome, Mr. Katz was a purebred Siamese with a royal heritage that dated back to ancient times. This cat had learned to live according to a code of honor because of his background. In other words, when he made a deal, he stuck to it. (Gnardo had other plans.)

The gnome climbed up the door and unlocked it to let the cat escape. For about 5 minutes the cat eagerly explored the outside. He hadn’t been allowed outside and was so excited. Gnardo the Gnome‘s ladylove was far from his thoughts.

“Ahem,” the gnome murmured. “Oh, I almost forgot,” the cat replied. “Jump on my back and we will begin our journey.” And so, the adventure began.

The trip proved long and perilous. At one point they crossed an open field and were chased by wild dogs who, luckily, spotted Gnardo astride the cat and gave up the chase..(it’s a well known fact that gnomes and dogs are friends.) During the journey they got drenched by rain. Mr. Katz hated getting wet, but Gnardo the Gnome liked the rain, appreciating the help the rain gave trees and flowers. About this time Mr. Katz was starting to have second thoughts about escaping from home. He missed his dry house and his master (mistress ???), the little girl who adored and fed him.

They both were astonished to discover that the forest where the lady gnome lived was surrounded by a moat filled with water. Mr. Katz insisted that he did not want to cross the water. The gnome argued that he had made a deal. “However,” Gnardo offered, “if you agree not to eat a mouse, I will forget about the rest of the deal.” The cat quickly concurred.

They were just about to part when the gnome noticed that the cat was sad and asked him why. The cat replied, “Before, I was happy and well fed with a nice, dry place to sleep. I enjoyed being with the girl who too care of me.”

The Gnome cried out, “Wait here, I am going to make a raft. I’ll find the female gnome and bring her back. Then we’ll all return home.” And that’s exactly what happened.

Each creature was happy. Gnardo the Gnome was no longer lonely because he finally had a companion and Mr. Katz returned to living the life of a house cat, which as far as he was concerned was really the cat’s meow.

Written by Lawrence Ticotin and Elaine Ticotin and:

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