Gnomes Need Legal Status

Washington has just released a news bulletin announcing that their policy on illegal immigration has been extended to include an overlooked group. The Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) met several weeks ago for an emergency conference to discuss the inclusion of investigating Gnomes. It seems that a recent study has unveiled the fact that Gnomes are migrating to the USA in large numbers. Many Gnomes have migrated from Lapland or the old country in search of freedom or to evade natural predators.

Fortunately for Gnomes, to date, investigators for the INS have failed to locate a single Gnome. An inside source has revealed to us that the most likely reason the Gnomes have eluded the INS is that Gnomes are crafty and they possess the ability to make themselves be seen only by their friends.

Farmers are very concerned about the possibility of Gnomes being deported out of the country. They understand the importance of Gnomes to agriculture. It is well known that Gnomes are keepers of the earth and gardeners are dependent on their unique relationship with growing plants and vegetation. Consequently, private circles of farmers have been having round table discussions across the country on how to handle this latest controversy.

We believe the deportation of Gnomes would cause a loss of billions in dollars in agriculture. It is important that we openly display our House Gnomes, Garden Gnomes, and Traveling Gnomes to show our support for these quiet creatures. Remember, Gnomes have rights!

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